Silent Tears

Reilly with the stuffed bear she received from the hospital.

  

Her resonant cries brought silent echoes of my own.
Trying to be the strong reassuring mommy I stood close to her side, rubbing her legs softly as Bryson held her hand and gently stroked her hair away from her face.

Our promises that everything was going to be alright weren't very encouraging to Reilly in the difficult moment.

Undergoing a very uncomfortable and slightly invasive procedure for a little five-year-old girl while in the middle of a painful urinary tract infection, the entire experience was more than she could bear.  Her sobs echoed throughout the radiology wing of the hospital.

At the peak of the discomfort, Reilly looked at Bryson and pleaded through her tears, "Oh, Daddy, please make it stop!"

There was nothing I wanted more than to take her pain away.
I wanted to cradle her in my arms and make her feel safe and secure again.   
But I couldn't.

As a parent, I knew that this test was absolutely necessary to her well being.
But still, her pleas cut deeply into my heart.

Life can be full of difficult and painful experiences.  There have been times in my own life when I have found myself in the middle of a desperately bleak situation and have wanted to cry out to my Father in Heaven just as Reilly did, "Oh, Daddy, please make it stop!"

Sometimes we have to go through the heartbreaking trial anyway.
Sometimes it is absolutely necessary for our well being.

I realize-- and empathize with the fact-- that many people have difficulty in making peace with the idea of an all-loving God with the amount of suffering that is so pervasive in our world.

How could God allow such a thing to happen?

It's an all too common refrain.

But standing in the radiology wing that day with my sweet little girl, I gained an entirely new perspective.

This life is not meant to be an exercise in pleasure and constant leisure.  We are here to learn, to grow.  To gain necessary experience, which will refine the soul.  It is not an easy thing.  Many times we are placed in decidedly uncomfortable and painful situations.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell once opined:

Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, "Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken.  Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art!  Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!"
("Lest Ye Be Wearied and Faint in Your Minds," April 1991 Conference Report)
  
But just because God does not see fit to take the pain away does not mean that He is not there, cradling us in His arms with silent tears of His own.  He is always there, even in the most lonely of trials. 

When we stand shaking and alone, thinking "The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me."

He answers softly but reassuringly:

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?  yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands...

Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into singing, O mountains:  for the Lord hath comforted his people and will have mercy upon his afflicted.
(see Isaiah 49:13-16)

Never alone.
We are never alone.