{five things • xxvii}

- one -

I am terribly slow at posting this Five Things, but it's for good reason.

Last week, Bryson got really sick. It started just like any other stomach ailment, but quickly escalated until we were fairly certain he was suffering from appendicitis. So we spent the greater part of Valentine's Day getting him tested for a bunch of things and having a CT scan at the hospital. He was in a great deal of pain and unable to sit at all-- he either had to be laying down or pacing while we waited for results.

And then after all that, every test and scan came back totally clean and clear. So the doctors gave him a tentative diagnosis of viral gastroenteritis-- which basically means "we don't know what is causing this." He had to stay in bed for awhile and keep to a bland diet, but he is doing a bit better now. I wish he would take it a little easier, but yesterday he insisted on attending all his meetings and today he is at work as usual. It's still not gone, but he is no longer in constant serious pain, so I am tremendously grateful for that.

Now I just need a few days convalescence to recover myself!

- two -

This little munchkin is officially a baby on the move.
He started army crawling a couple weeks ago, and already he is getting up on his knees and motoring around the house pretty quickly.

I can't leave him alone for a second.
But I like spending time with this little guy, so it's all good.

- three -

Rounding the corner of my neighborhood and seeing this every day always makes me smile.

The work on the temple is coming along quickly, and they just brought in a new crane to start on the stone facing this week. Pretty exciting!!!

- four -

I'm going to try and post a couple of playlists here in the next few days. One is my standard go-to when I'm having a rough day, and the other is a collection of Easter-appropriate contemporary Christian tracks. I love, love, love Easter time, and I hope that you will enjoy bringing Christ-centered music into your day as much as I have! Here's one of my favorite songs just to whet your appetite. Bethany Dillon & Matt Hammit's version of "In Christ Alone."



- five -

There is a storm brewing in our house of late. You see, tomorrow is the Big Game.
BYU vs. USU basketball.
Have mercy.

My parents were able to snag some tickets last minute, and already the kids have taken sides. Taylor is a true blue dyed in the wool Cougar, and Reilly is passionate about her Aggies. Seriously.

Being that I am the only member of the family who has actually attended both schools, I am always caught in the middle. And honestly, it doesn't matter one bit to me who wins or loses. But you may want to batten down the hatches if you're in the area...

• • •

And those are my Five Things for the week!
Thanks to Heather for hosting our regular blog hop! 
♥

Let's Try This Again...

Right now I am laughing at myself because I just looked at the calendar and realized that Advent, in fact, starts tomorrow. Not last Sunday.

I am awesome.

In all honesty though, I am breathing a sigh of relief. I just found an "extra week"  I didn't think I had! An unexpected opportunity to take a deep breath, reboot, and try again. After the stress of the last week, I'd say I could use a little more of that.

Grace? Yes, please.
Pour it on.

Aren't second chances wonderful?
Taylor certainly agrees with me.

Last Monday, our attempt at Family Home Evening was an epic FAIL.
We ended up sending everyone to bed early due to poor behavior and had it the following night instead.

As I was wallowing in my frustration a bit, there was a sudden tap on my shoulder.
There was Taylor, paper in hand, morose expression pleading forgiveness.

(Translated)
I'm sorry, Mom for the bad choices I have been making. I'll be better tomorrow. I love you and for now on I will be the best I can be; signed Taylor

I love that boy.

It also struck me how similar his note was to so many prayers I have offered in my lifetime.
Aren't so many of us just trying to be the best we can be and falling short daily? But as long as we keep picking ourselves up and continuing that upward trajectory, I have faith that eventually everything will turn out all right.

And if we're really lucky, we might just find ourselves an extra week to start over with.
Here's to the reboot.

Cheers!

The Post I Didn't Want to Write

Mom? Why is Governor Romney running for President? Is he challenging President Obama or something?

As I continued our drive home from school, I looked in my rear view mirror and smiled at Taylor.

"Yes, that's one of the great things about our country. Every four years we get to reevaluate where our country is headed and choose the person we think will do the best job in getting us where we want to be."

He considered this for a moment.

Well, I'm rooting for President Obama. I like him. I hope he wins. 

I couldn't hold back the chuckles as I responded with a wink.

"Well, don't tell your grandpa that." 

I posted this little dialogue between my seven-year-old and myself on Facebook yesterday, and when Bryson saw it pop up on his iPhone at work it made him laugh too. He happened with be with a friend and colleague at the time and shared it with him. His friend seemed incredulous that I would dare to post such a thing. 

She seriously posted that? Now everyone is going to think your kid is messed up! 

Now, I know that he said this half jokingly (I hope?), but it seems to be a pretty good representation of the back-and-forth I've been hearing during this election year. Actually, it's one of the tamer examples I can think of just from my own personal experience.

Politics is something I don't talk about with many people, and before yesterday I hadn't discussed it with my kids either. Probably because my own personal views can't be pigeon-holed into one of the two predominant parties. I don't consider myself a Democrat, but I most certainly don't belong to the Republican stronghold either. I think both parties have strengths and weaknesses. This is due, in a large part, to my experience growing up in the suburbs of the very Democratic city of Chicago in a family with Republican parents. I was fully immersed in both philosophies.  As a result I have never voted solely along party lines, and have probably voted for just as many Democrats as I have Republicans. 

Now, I understand how passionate people feel about their political affiliation and views. I get it. I understand how disappointing it is when the candidate you endorse fails to be elected. I've been there many times over, on both sides of the aisle. What really bothers me, however, is when we take an "us vs. them" mentality toward those who think differently than ourselves.  We presume to understand the other side's intentions and ascribe motives and value systems to them, when we couldn't possibly do so accurately, at least not without climbing into the heads of the opposition. 

To draw a parallel that really hit me hard this week, I read this interesting post by Kristin Howerton over at Rage Against the Minivan. I really enjoy Kristin's blog. I don't always agree with her viewpoints, but have enjoyed seeing things from a different angle when those differences have occurred. That is, until a couple of days ago. 

In that post, she quoted Jason Boyett, a Christian writer, who had written the following on Facebook:

So in tomorrow's presidential election, we can choose between a professing Christian or a professing Mormon. Until recently, most conservative evangelicals I know considered the LDS church a cult. But tomorrow, many of these same Christian friends will think I'm doing something immoral and unChristian by choosing the Christian over the Mormon. Which is just to say: things are weird . . . . I can understand disagreeing with policies or ill-advised statements. And all politicians lie. (So do all regular people.) But I think we need to be very careful about rejecting the faith of a man who has professed Christ as his Savior—which, in the evangelical world, is considered a fairly important step of faith—especially while voting for an opponent whose church tradition rejects the divinity of Christ. 

Now, I can understand people misunderstanding aspects of my LDS faith. And while I was slightly disheartened that Kristin chose to post such a quote that couldn't be farther from what my own personal faith encompasses, it didn't get me too upset. What did upset me, however, was her (and many others') response to some of the LDS commenters on the post that tried to clarify just what Mormons do believe. (Spoiler: We worship Jesus as our personal Savior, who atoned in the garden and died on the cross to save us from our sins, and who is/was/will always be God.) Instead of taking an agree-to-disagree stance, she instead tried to tell one well intentioned Mormon just what we do believe and how we are most assuredly not Christians: 

Christians do not believe, in any way shape or form, that we can become gods even after death in heaven.
Please know I say this with all due respect but felt it important to clarify.

Now, I am totally fine with disagreements over doctrine. And honestly, I do understand where Kristin was coming from--if you haven't studied LDS doctrine and take certain aspects of it out of context and use it as a sound bite, it can sound a little... well, different. And I do believe that she wasn't trying to offend anyone. But with all due respect to Kristin, I wouldn't ever presume to tell her what she believes as a Protestant. Just as I wouldn't presume to tell an Obama supporter or a Romney supporter what they "really believed."

When it comes to that particular point of Mormon doctrine, my own beliefs echo those of celebrated Christian writer C. S. Lewis, who said:

He said [in the Bible] that we were 'gods' and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him - for we can prevent Him, if we choose - He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said.  
"Beyond Personality" (London: The Centenary Press, 1945), P48 

But that is really not the point of this post.

We know from scripture that we are to "judge righteous judgement." But life is not always so cut-and-dry as to what is black and white. In an imperfect world there are so many varying shades of grey. And so we go about our business, doing our best to make good choices based upon the light and knowledge that we have received through our own individual life experiences. 

When the news of Obama's reelection hit Facebook, I was unprepared for the flood of despondent posts from Romney supporters that took over my news feed.

One bright spot came from my good friend Kirsten, who wrote, "Alright, y'all -- let's hug it out." I couldn't have agreed more.  And other posts from another close friend Emily, who wrote, "No matter who is president, Jesus is King." and "We will never all see eye to eye, that's the beauty of being a Free American, but let us UNITE THIS COUNTRY IN LOVE!! May all the negativity against one another be replaced with love and togetherness!" One from an Obama supporter, the others from a Romney supporter. (I'm making some educated guesses there, but I think I'm accurate.) I love both of them to death, and really appreciate their sentiments at this time.

I think it would be well to remember that there is much good to be found no matter what political party, religion, or lack thereof you subscribe to. I hope that in the coming days and months we can try to come together as a nation and remember that even though we may disagree on many things, at the most fundamental level we are all children of God. And we all deserve kindness and respect, no matter our beliefs.   

To quote Mr. Lewis again:

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no 'ordinary' people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilisations -- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit.
The Weight of Glory (William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1949), P14-15

I couldn't possibly say it any better. 

{five things xxiii}

Per Heather's request, I'm posting a Five Things-- Halloween Style. :)

Now, truth be told, Halloween really isn't my favorite holiday. I have fun dressing the kids up and usually myself as well (although sleep deprivation won out to getting a costume for me this year!), but as for the creepy and gory aspects of the day I am just not a fan. I don't like violence... and scary movies are r-e-a-l-l-y not my thing, unless you're talking about old classics like Wait Until Dark.  (The last scary movie I watched was 2002's The Ring... and I'm pretty sure it will be my last. Scared the living daylights out of me, and I think I only watched about half of it-- the rest of the time I covered my eyes!) There's enough darkness in the world without me seeking it out for entertainment.

I've enjoyed hearing ideas on alternative ways to celebrate the day from interesting people from various corners of the web, including Heather, Misty, and Jen. Perhaps next year we'll incorporate some of their ideas with our own traditions to add a little extra depth to the holiday.

At our kids' charter school, instead of a traditional Halloween party, the elementary grades put on a History Fair. Each grade dresses according to the historical era they are studying in their classes and they visit all the grades to learn a little about each time period. I really love that idea, and it was a lot of fun for Taylor and Reilly.

So, without further ado, here are my five little trick-or-treaters!

- one -

Taylor's class is studying the War of 1812. In his class there were soldiers, pioneers, pirates, elegantly dressed ladies of the era... but Taylor was the only Red Coat! 

After researching a little on what the soldiers' uniforms looked like, we decided with a little modification that a marching band costume would make a great British uniform. He was quite debonaire, don't you think? 

That crooked smile. It kills me. :)

- two -

Reilly's class is studying ancient Egypt, so she went as an Egyptian princess. At first she was really excited to get dressed up and do the eye makeup, and then after she saw herself in the mirror she wasn't too sure anymore. I think she was a little nervous of being the only one decked out quite like she was. Once we arrived at the school and she saw all her classmates she became very enthusiastic again. She had lots of other Egyptian princesses, pharaohs, and mummies to keep her company. Taylor said that if he had been in her class he would have gone as Joseph of Egypt or an Israelite slave. That made me smile.

- three - 

With Dani's current girly-girl fascination with all things princess-y or fairy-related, I thought for sure she'd go with one of Reilly's old costumes this year. However, she was not impressed. Instead, she found Taylor's old horse costume and THAT is what she HAD to be this year. She was pretty adorable, I must say. Although, I kept thinking of Jacqueline from the movie Ever After and chuckling. 

"Honestly, Jacqueline, the horse is one of God's noblest creatures!"

- four -

Logan was our resident dragon this year. He was so excited when he saw the costume and immediately got into character the second he put it on. 

He has been running around the house ever since roaring fiercely, as a good dragon should.

I don't think we are ever going to get him to take it off.

- five -

And to round it all out, one of the cutest little monsters this green earth has ever seen.

I adore this happy little man.

• • •

And those are my five things for the week!

Warm wishes to you and yours.

♥

Momma's Boy

Seven years ago today, you came into our lives, changing our world forever.

After three years of marriage and rounds of fertility medication, we still found ourselves waiting for your arrival. I can clearly remember the tears I shed, and the prayers I said-- pleading with God to bless us with your little spirit.

Little spirit, ha.
Clearly, I mean Big Spirit.

Just like Hannah of old, I promised that if God would see fit to bless our home with one of His children that I would do all in my power to raise you in the arms of His love.

Shortly after I made that solemn covenant with the Lord, you were on your way.

After a difficult pregnancy, and an even more difficult (torturous, really) labor, you made your grand entrance into this world. I snuggled you on my chest, and you looked back at me with eyes wide open. Only minutes old, and you were taking it all in. Inquisitive and intelligent.

Soon after, however, there were complications. You weren't able to keep the necessary oxygen level in your blood stream for your tiny body to thrive. Tucked away in your little incubator, I made the regular journey to visit you and hold you close. The nurses all seemed to think that I was very strong emotionally. But that wasn't it, really. I just had the calm and peaceful assurance from the Spirit that everything would be alright.

And soon enough, you were.

We took you home, and to this day I cannot remember a time when I felt more overwhelmed and completely incompetent. I couldn't believe they actually let me leave the hospital with you! Didn't they know I had absolutely no clue what I was doing?

Thank goodness your daddy was there that first week to show me the ropes. And thank goodness I'm a fairly swift learner. We got the hang of it pretty quickly, you and me.

You were patient with me as I learned how to be a mommy. And I tried my best to be patient with you as you grew much faster than I was prepared for.

Each and every day I look at you and am amazed with who you are and all that you are becoming. Your strong, intense determination and enthusiasm for life drives everything you do. Your thirst for knowledge and desire to understand things of both heaven and earth inspire me to no end. You challenge me constantly, and I am all the better for it.

I am continually surprised by the things you teach me in the moments I need it most.

I am grateful that even after seven years, you still love to snuggle up next to me and simply be.

These days I look at you, and I am still overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed with gratitude.

Thank you for the privilege it is to be your mother.
I loved you even before you were born, and I will love you still through all the eternities to come.

Happy Birthday, Taylor.

April Adventures • Easter Sunday

Easter is my most favorite holiday.

The fact that there is less commercialization along with fewer obligations to go, do, and be in so many places throughout the holiday season like we experience at Christmastime may have something to do with it.  But mostly, I just love the majesty of the message of Christ's Atonement coupled with the beauty of new life emerging in nature.  I love teaching my children about the Easter story, and keeping the focus directly on the Savior.

We typically enjoy a nice Easter dinner with roasted lamb as the main dish.  This year there were some complications in that regard now that Reilly is old enough to put two and two together when it comes to consuming meat and recognizing the animal from which it comes.  She was surprisingly accepting when it came to the idea of eating lamb, but she insisted that we call it "meat" and not "lamb" when Sheepie was in the room.  Whenever we spoke of Easter dinner during the week, she carefully covered Sheepie's eyes and plugged her ears so that she wouldn't be traumatized.  Such a compassionate little shepherdess, that Reilly.

The other day, she asked me out of the blue, "Mom, do you know why I love Sheepie so much?"

"Why?" I responded, slightly distracted as I unloaded the dishwasher.

"Because she reminds me of Jesus Christ." came the answer.

She now had my complete attention.

"Really?  How is that, sweetie?" I inquired.

Taylor interjected, "Because Jesus is the Lamb of God."  Reilly nodded in agreement.

"That's true," I acknowledged.  "He is also called the Good Shepherd.  I especially love His story about the lost sheep."

Reilly spoke up again, "Yes, that is my favorite story.  I love the Lost Sheep story."

Those two... they sure know how to warm this mother heart of mine.

Who are these Children Coming Down?

The day had been long and my bed had been beckoning.
Alone last Thursday evening, I had wrestled the four little munchkins to bed while Bryson was away on a church assignment.
They all had seemed to have energy in spades.
I...  Well, I was not so fortunate.

The moment when I finally slipped between my clean white sheets and embraced my pillow like a long lost friend was complete and utter bliss.
My welcoming room was quiet, dark, and ever-so-relaxing. 

Almost at that same moment I saw the silhouette in my doorway and heard the tentative voice call out.

Mom?

Suppressing a groan, I lifted my head to get a better look at Taylor, who was peering back at me in the darkness.

After all the effort it had taken to finally get the kids in bed, it was difficult to not feel exasperated.  But in a moment of uncharacteristic clarity, something told me that it really wasn't the time or place for that.  Instead I beckoned him to me, patting the empty space in bed beside me and asked him what the matter was.

I was expecting stalling tactics for going back to bed.
That's absolutely what I was expecting.
And I was absolutely wrong.

For the next fifteen to twenty minutes straight, Taylor poured his little heart out to me.
He told me about misunderstandings with his friends that were troubling him.  Choices that those around him were making that he found to be upsetting.  Worries he had about Reilly's ongoing health concerns.

As I sat and listened to him, it seemed as though I was seeing him again for the very first time.   
Time stood still for a brief moment and then wrapped around itself.

Watching him quietly, I saw him first as my tiny babe in arms, my treasured firstborn.

Then suddenly as I looked into his eyes, I caught a glimpse of the man he will soon be.  All grown up, strong and thoughtful, much like his daddy.

And yet, almost within that same split second I returned to the moment at hand, sitting in my darkened bedroom, holding the hand of my six-year-old boy.

The two of us had a great conversation that night, and I tried my best to help talk him through some of his concerns and fears.  I sincerely hope that I helped him in some small way to feel secure and loved in a world that can often be uncertain.

But as for myself, that night left me forever changed.

This work we are doing as mothers is no small thing.
Yes, the days can often be long and mundane at times, but still the fact remains.
These are no small souls we are raising.
These little ones that have been sent into our homes possess an infinite and almost incomprehensible worth.
Children of a King, with such promise and potential.

Yes, truly this work is no small thing.

{five things xiv}

- one -

Taylor came home from school a couple of days ago with a quarter taped to a note card.  When I asked him about it, he told me that he had found it in the school atrium a few weeks ago and had been concerned about the student that lost it, so he turned it in to his teacher.

They gave it to the school office, which held on to it in case someone came looking for it.  When it was never claimed, they returned it to Taylor.

  

Now, a quarter found on the ground may not seem like a lot to you or me, but for Taylor it is some serious coin.  I was so proud of him that he would think of others before himself and turn it in.  After I told him as much and gave him a big hug and kiss he looked at me and added,

"I found a bouncy ball in the hall the other day and turned that in too...  but that one they haven't given back to me yet."

I'm grateful to hear of his small acts of honesty in the moments when no one is watching.  It does a mama proud.

- two -

Work on the temple site continues to move forward, with the construction offices and other preliminary tasks being completed.

Several weeks ago they put up this big green fence surrounding the grounds, which I have affectionately christened "the Bryson barrier."

For the last few months, Bryson had enjoyed driving his work truck onto the site and getting the inside scoop from the workers -- who happen to be from a sister company.  No longer.  He is pretty bummed about it, even though we knew it was an inevitability.

Work on the temple itself is scheduled to reconvene in earnest on the 16th, according to our stake president.  It's an exciting time.

- three -

I really enjoyed this editorial from the Huffington Post this week.

Written by Kara Gebhart Uhl, it's entitled "Apologies to the Parents I Judged Four Years Ago."

I love her take on how your perspective on parenting completely changes after you have children.  I know I am entirely guilty of having had a perfectionistic ideal of parenting prior to actually having children of my own.  When you are actually thrown into the throes of motherhood, however, reality hits hard. Suddenly you realize that some days just aren't going to go the way you'd like and you have to make peace with complete and utter imperfection.

I particularly enjoyed these thoughts of hers:

My day-to-day routine isn't what I envisioned it would be four years ago. Some of the things I imagine I'm judged on now are minor, others, a little more major. But mostly they are simple faults and I now know that they don't make me a bad parent. Sometimes I leave dirty diapers on the changing table. My children's socks don't always match. I forget to brush my daughter's hair. I use TV as a way to take a breather. I utilize the fast-food drive-thru. I bribe. I'm sometimes too easy. I'm sometimes too hard. I sometimes make the wrong decision, give the wrong punishment, ask too much, ask too little. But within all these minor and major faults is a singular truth: Most days, I'm doing the best I can. And I honestly believe that's a truth that can be applied to most parents: Most days, we're all doing the best we can.

- four -

Don't you just love the fashion sense of a five-year-old girl?

Reilly was able to go back to school this week, and yesterday was Grandparents' Day for their class.  My parents made the drive down from Cache Valley to attend with her this year, and Reilly wanted to be dressed to the nines for the big occasion.

This is what she came upstairs wearing.

In case you can't quite make out the entire ensemble, that's a bright teal shirt, pink/brown/white skirt, bright red and black checkered socks (with snowmen on them), and her gray Sketchers.  Oh, and her fake pearls-- keeping it classy.

It was so incredibly awesome.

If it had been a normal day here at home I probably would have let it go, but I figured a fashion intervention was probably best for our purposes that day.  Luckily, she was sufficiently impressed with my proposed modifications.

- five -

You may have heard on the news, but Oreo just celebrated its 100th birthday this week. 

Here at our house we're pretty healthy eaters-- mostly whole foods and all that.  But all six of us have a horrible weakness for the yummy sandwich cookies.

Growing up, Oreos were a way of life.  Every Saturday night we would have what my dad called "wild and crazy parties."  It was simply code for Oreo cookies and milk with the family.  To this day, it's not really a party at the Ensign house unless there are Oreos involved.

I'm pretty sure my sister could live off of them.

Happy Birthday, Oreo!
Thanks for the memories.


• • •

And those are my five things for the week!
Best wishes for a  wonderful spring weekend, everyone.

Of Such is the Kingdom of God

Have you ever had one of those days when you just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep off the stresses and exhaustion of the preceding hours?

A few weeks ago, I had one of those days.
And playing the tired, pregnant mommy card, I did just exactly that.

So very tired, and so very worn down, I climbed under my covers much earlier than normal.
Fighting a bad cold, tending to the affairs of the day, and taking care of three ailing children had simply run me into the ground physically and emotionally.

Dishes were piled in the sink, and my living room was positively smothered by mountains of unfolded laundry.  It felt as though I would never be able to catch up on all the mundane chores I had to do, much less anything else.

I wanted to lay down and sleep until the world seemed right again.
As it happened, however, my brief moment of rest was interrupted by a small voice at my bedroom door.

"Mom?"

I rolled over reluctantly, to Taylor's searching gaze.  Bryson stood behind him, grinning ear to ear.

Yes?

"Come with me, I have something to show you."

Seeing Bryson's encouraging nod, I decided I had better get over myself and go see what it was that Taylor had to show me.  Taking my hand in his own little one, he led me into the living room.  At first, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking at.  Then it became crystal clear.  With tears in my eyes, I saw that my little boy had meticulously sorted and folded all the laundry all on his own-- in his very best, albeit rumpled six-year-old way. 

As I hugged him close and let my emotions tumble loose, I told him how grateful I was to him and how special his act of service was to me.  To my complete surprise, I saw that Taylor was in tears as well.

"I knew you weren't feeling well, so I wanted to do something to help you...  Oh, Mom," he exclaimed, "I just love you so much!" 

Over the past couple of months I have reflected on his little gift to me in a moment of difficulty often.

Taylor didn't need an assignment or some other reason to feel compelled to help.  He simply saw a need and acted out of love.

Speaking of our Savior, Elder José L. Alonso of the Seventy has remarked:

His was a life of service.  When we serve our neighbor, we help those in need.  In the process we may find solutions to our own difficulties.  As we emulate the Savior, we show our love to our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, and we become more like Them.

King Benjamin spoke of the value of service, saying that when we are "in the service of [our] fellow beings [we] are only in the service of [our] God."  (See Mosiah 2:17) Everyone has opportunities to give service and show love.

Each day we have the opportunity to give help and service-- doing the right thing at the right time, without delay. 
("Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time without Delay," Oct. 2011 Conference Report)

One of my favorite examples of service found in the Book of Mormon takes place when the Savior appears to the people of Bountiful after His resurrection.  Elder Alonso also refers to this event in his address, explaining that through His actions, the Savior gave us a wonderful example about not waiting to lend service to others when a need is evident:

Having taught the people, [the Savior] saw that they were unable to understand all His words.  He invited them to go to their homes and ponder the things that He had said to them.  He told them to pray to the Father and prepare themselves to come again on the morrow, when He would return to teach them.  

As He concluded, He looked upon the multitude and saw them weeping, for they longed for Him to stay with them.

"And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion toward you.

"Have ye any that are sick among you?  Bring them hither.  Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt... or that are afflicted in any manner?  Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion on you; my bowels are filled with mercy." (see 3 Ne. 17)

And they brought their sick to Him, and He healed them.  The multitude bowed down at His feet and worshiped Him and kissed His feet, "insomuch that they did bathe his feet with their tears."  Then he commanded them that their little children should be brought, and He blessed them one by one.  That is the model the Savior has given us.  His love is for all, but He never loses sight of the one.   

Jesus never does things out of obligation.  He serves because He loves, pure and simple.  He doesn't do the bare minimum, just so He can feel good about His token effort.  He sees a need and is moved to fill that need because of His innate compassion for us all. 

I stand in amazement when I consider His singular example to us all.

An example that my six-year-old boy reminded me of through his small act of love, freely given with all the compassion in his little heart.

• • •

This post is part of a blog hop hosted by the Book of Mormon Forum!

Six, Going on Sixteen

My firstborn is a bit of a challenge.
Half sweetness and compassion and the other half stubbornness and intensity, each day never fails to present a new adventure.

I am often overwhelmed with love and exasperation for this young boy.
Mostly love.  But exasperation, frequently.

Over the past week we have been trying to teach Taylor the importance of being respectful and courteous to everyone, even when we are upset or having a bad day.

He had a bad day at school last week.
A Really Bad Day.

After a phone conversation with his wonderful and patient school teacher last Friday, I was so very disheartened and disappointed in the poor choices he had demonstrated in his class.  For such a generally good, kind, smart boy, these somewhat infrequent bouts of rebellion and testing his limits always bring me back to reevaluate what lessons we are striving to teach him as parents.  It is a fine line between encouraging his natural determination and preventing it from blossoming into bull headed obstinacy. 

Forget toes, this boy keeps me on my knees.

Over the weekend I lost a lot of sleep as I tried to discern what I could be doing better as a parent.  Taylor's mood swung back and forth between remorse for his actions and indignation for what he believed to be an unfair assessment of his behavior.  The fact that he had some favorite privileges revoked as punishment only added to his discontent.

I did my best to stay calm and firm in my resolve.
You see, I can be awfully determined too.

By Sunday morning he had become much more contrite, but I was still wound up pretty tightly.  I was in a foul temper and still discouraged by the events of the last few days.  I was feeling inadequate as a mother and impatient with myself and those around me.  Needless to say, the rush to get ready for church by nine did not go well.  We arrived after Sacrament Meeting, just in time to get Taylor to Primary where he was assigned to give a talk on Jesus' disciples, and how they were blessed for following the Savior.

I hustled Taylor and Reilly into the Primary room and quickly went to hang up coats.  Bryson, who had been away at stake meetings that morning, met me in the hall and whisked the twins off to Nursery.

As I turned to return to help Taylor with his talk, I could faintly hear his voice in the distance.

I was too late.
He had already started.

I stepped into the room and stood at the back, and listened as he delivered his talk with only the slightest bit of help from the counselor in the Primary presidency who stood by his side in my stead.  He read the words we had typed out together with conviction and clarity.  At once, my frustration and anger disappeared.  Pure love was all that remained. 

Silently I prayed, thanking God for the gift that this special boy was in my life and repenting for my weakness and shortcomings as a parent. 

Sitting in Gospel Doctrine class, I listened to the verses being discussed and my heart resonated with the message that was imparted from one of my most favorite passages in all of sacred writ.

Nevertheless, not withstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth:  O wretched man that I am!  Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.  
I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins that do so easily beset me.

And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless I know in whom I have trusted.

My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
(2 Ne. 4:17-21)  

I was filled with His love, and an enormous amount of humility.

All of these little experiences of the weekend led to what I consider a "perfect storm" of keyed up emotions.  As Gospel Doctrine ended and Relief Society began, and we discussed various testimonies of our Savior as the Living God, I sat feeling overwhelmed with His love and my love for my family.  I was on the verge of tears nearly the entire hour.  I was kind of a wreck.

As she closed her lesson, our teacher said that she wanted to share three testimonies of the Savior that meant a great deal to her.  The first was the testimony of her father-- a family treasure with great personal meaning.  The second was the final testimony of Elder Bruce R. McConkie, given in General Conference just weeks before he passed away:

And now, as pertaining to this perfect atonement, wrought by the shedding of the blood of God—I testify that it took place in Gethsemane and at Golgotha, and as pertaining to Jesus Christ, I testify that he is the Son of the Living God and was crucified for the sins of the world. He is our Lord, our God, and our King. This I know of myself independent of any other person.

I am one of his witnesses, and in a coming day I shall feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears.

But I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God’s Almighty Son, that he is our Savior and Redeemer, and that salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way.  ("The Purifying Power of Gethsemane," April 1985 Conference Report)

And after this powerful testimony of Elder McConkie-- right when you didn't think the testimonies could get much more moving, she shared her third and final testimony.

They were the words of a six-year-old boy.

My Taylor.

The Gospel is true.  I'm trying to be good.  I believe Jesus lives and that He helps us.

You better believe that those tears that had been forcibly held back the entire hour came spilling out.  In gushes.  My face turned bright red as I pleaded with myself not to go into The Ugly Cry.  I wasn't very successful.

Afterward, I went home and talked to Bryson about the entire experience. 

"I feel like such a hypocrite," I explained.  "Everyone was looking at me like I am such a good example of a good mother raising a good son.  I'm SO not!  I don't deserve to be put up on some pedestal.  I don't even deserve a stepping stool!"

Of course, he was able to put things back into perspective.  He always does.

Nobody is perfect, Tiff. 

Nobody.  

He looked directly into my eyes. 

You need to give yourself some credit.  Yes, Taylor can be headstrong and he makes mistakes.  But he is also a good, smart, and faith-filled kid.  And you have much to do with that.

Maybe there was a little truth to that.

Regardless, I find that my little boy teaches me so much more than I feel I teach him.

Hopefully he learns a few things from me too. 

Going into his room at night to tuck him in, I took a moment to just gaze at him in wonder.

I wonder how I got so lucky to be entrusted with such a remarkable spirit.
I wonder how on earth I will ever live up to being to the mother he needs and deserves.

Parenthood.  It truly is a marvelous work and a wonder.

{five things xi}

- one -

Another week, another trip to the doctor's office.  I've started to wonder if we should just change our direct deposit so Bryson's paycheck can just go straight to the pediatrician's office.  This time we had to have an abdominal film taken for our little Logan.  Poor little guy is having all sorts of tummy trouble and has been in a great deal of pain.  Thankfully nothing serious is wrong, but he has to be on medication for the next couple of weeks.  So far, he is not a fan.

However, the good news is that the doctor was able to do a follow-up in the same appointment on Friday with Danika and see how her finger is healing up after Sunday's trauma-- and everything looks great.  There is no damage to the joints in her finger, and no signs of infection under the nail where the laceration occurred.  Just 3-4 more weeks of wearing her splint, and she should be good to go. 

It's been an exhausting 2012 so far, but we're hanging in there.

Now that we've conquered January, I feel like we can handle whatever comes our way.

I want to say, "February, do your worst!" but perhaps that isn't the best idea.  No, probably not.

- two -

Do you think God inspires radio disc jockeys?  I think that sometimes he must.

I love music.  All types.  However, I find myself drawn more and more to the great classics.  The dial on my car's radio is usually set to the local classical station.  In particular, I find the sacred choral music written by Vivaldi especially moving.  A couple of Sundays ago, I was feeling especially drained and run down, and when I got in the car one of my most favorite pieces began to play over the airwaves.  In that moment, it felt like a very warm-- and very real-- Providential hug.

The piece is Gloria in D. 

I hope it fills you with the same sense of joy and peace as it does me.

Whenever I hear those opening notes by the strings, my heart swoons.

And since I'm on the subject of Vivaldi, here is another work of his that sends my soul heavenward.  It may very well be my most favorite piece of music of all time, across all genres.  It is an aria from the sacred motet, Nulla in Mundo Pax Sincera.

I'm thankful for inspired composers and musicians (and DJ's, haha!) that bring a touch more beauty to this world.

- three -

We have a superhero in our midst.

Lately one of Dani's favorite things is to wear her blanket like a cape and trounce around in my black cowboy boots.  They go clear up to the tops of her thighs, which makes walking an interesting experience for her to say the least.  But no matter.  She will not be defeated.

It's tough work, saving the world.

- four -

On Friday night, Bryson and I watched the 2003 film made about the life of Mother Teresa. 
I highly recommend it.
While it may not be a big budget film with all the bells and whistles, it is something much greater.  It is a film that will make you stop and think.  It will cause you to reevaluate your priorities.  It may change your perspective on a lot of things in life.
That, to me, is what makes a truly great film.

- five -

Today Taylor bore his testimony in Sacrament Meeting.

He does this often.
(Waaaaay more often than his mom.)

What I love most about Taylor's testimonies is that they always come from the heart.  He doesn't get up and say the same things over and over in an endless repetition each month.  He thinks about what he truly believes and shares his thoughts with the rest of the congregation.
I'm certain that I never ever did that at the age of six.

At one point he shared, "I believe that Jesus lives and that He helps us."

He makes me so proud.  He makes me want to continue to learn and strengthen my own faith in return.  I often think that I learn so much more from him than he does from me!

• • •

And those are my five things for the week!

P.S. Thanks for all the words of encouragement and advice about dealing with sciatica-- I've tried some of your suggestions to great results.  :)

in case of emergency

Thwack!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I have to confess that in being the mom to four little ones ages six and under, this is a sound I hear with somewhat frequent regularity.

But this time, there was nothing regular about the cry that followed.

I whipped around from the counter where I had been preparing our Sunday dinner to see that Dani had tipped herself over while standing on a kitchen chair.  I hurried over to comfort her, but stopped suddenly when I saw the blood.  A small pool forming.

For a brief moment I began to panic, but quickly forced myself back into my head again.

I snatched her up, cradling her close, and examined her face-- where I had assumed the blood was coming from.

Nothing.
I started scanning the rest of her body for injury.

It was then I saw her right hand.
Her middle finger appeared mangled to my eye and was bleeding heavily.
It must have been crushed between the chair and the hard kitchen floor in the fall.

Unfortunately, Taylor saw it at the same moment I did.
He immediately started to freak out.
"Oh, Dani!  Oh, poor Dani! Oh baby girl, I'm so sorry! Mom!  Mom! Help her, help her, Mom!"

A deep breath.
Honestly, I wanted to react in the very same way my six-year-old was.
I tried to push the panic back down, channeled my inner lifeguard, and attempted to call for Bryson without the obvious anxiety creeping in my voice.
I was entirely unsuccessful.

Thankfully, Bryson could be counted on to remain calm in an emergency situation.  He scooped Dani up, and applied firm, direct pressure to her finger with his hand while I found the closest thing that sort of resembled gauze: paper napkins.

After applying pressure for a minute or two, he examined her finger more closely.
He looked at me.
"Hey, Tiff, look at this for a sec."

I told him I didn't think that was a good idea at the moment.

"I can't tell how deeply it's cut," he explained, "but I think it's clear she needs a doctor."

Taking her to the ER was definitely a two person job-- one to drive, and the other to continue applying pressure to her injured finger.  I quickly called the first person that came to mind-- my sainted visiting teacher and friend, Kim, who came over immediately to tend to the kids while Bryson and I sped off to take Dani to the hospital.

A few x-rays and an examination revealed that she had a broken finger, a lacerated nail bed, and a partial nail avulsion.  Basically, part of her fingernail had been dislodged from underneath the skin and cuticle and needed to be put back where it belonged.  (Yes, that information gave me the shivers too.)

But our sweet baby girl was a trooper.
Although there were many tears shed (and not a few by her anxious mommy!) she was content to simply be held by her daddy and did not need to be restrained.  I was so grateful for a kind and understanding hospital staff that attended to her needs with compassion and professionalism.

And soon we were on our way home again, armed with supplies to keep Dani's finger immobilized for the next four weeks and antibiotics to help prevent infection.  Within a month or so, she should be completely healed.

The unexpected crisis is simply one of those things in life that is sure to pop up every once in awhile.  Just to keep things interesting.  It arrives in different guises, be it physical, emotional, spiritual.  I have experienced all of the above.

When the moment of crisis comes, the most important thing to remember is to stay calm, and not panic.  In the heat of the moment, this is often easier said than done.  But in remaining calm, we allow ourselves to act with greater intention, with less risk of error.

With calmness comes a greater learning experience, as we proceed through the emergency.  We gain wisdom and the ability to come through the other side of the crisis stronger than we were before.

And one thing I have definitely learned through it all:
We are stronger than we know. 

{five things x}

- one -

First of all, I need to thank my mom for bringing sunshine back to the Beehive State.  

She is flying home from Hawaii today, and I asked her to bring some sunny skies with her.  The days here have been so grey and murky lately, to see sun and experience fresh air-- even if it is still cold-- is a most welcome treat.

 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

That's better.

Thanks, Mom!

 

- two -

Reilly finally seems to have won the battle over the infection that had been plaguing her the last couple of months.  

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!

Recent lab results had given us some preliminary good news, but I wasn't quite ready to breathe easier until we got the more in-depth culture results back from the hospital.  Thankfully, everything came back clean.

Finally the color has returned to her face.  Her beautiful freckles, which had completely disappeared while she was ill are brightening our days again. 

I am so happy that chapter is over and done with.

- three -

Lately it seems like my entire life has been spent on simply keeping up with the essentials.  It is always a bit frustrating not being able to keep up with what used to be a normal routine now that I am pregnant.  I have to keep telling myself that as long as everyone has clothes on their backs and food in their tummies that we're doing okay.  The house may never be as clean as I'd like over the next few months, and I'm making peace with that.

I also decided to start taking some time during the twins' naps to work on something creative.  I'm an artsy person by nature, and a new project has done wonders for my outlook lately.  I decided to make quilts for the twins' birthday gifts this year.  They will be my first ever pieced quilts.  I'm using fabric from Aneela Hoey's "Sherbet Pips" and "Little Apples" lines that I got on sale awhile back. So far the blocks are turning out really cute.  I think Dani & Logan will love them-- they keep trying to run off with the finished blocks already! 

- four -

There has always been a budding paleontologist in our house, but as of late there has actually been an honest-to-goodness dinosaur dig going on in our kitchen.

For Christmas this year, Taylor's Uncle Rob & Aunt Angel gave him his very own paleontology experience-- a Tyrannosaur skeleton excavation kit.  For the last several weeks he has spent hours carefully digging his T-Rex out of what appears to be some sort of plaster, imitating the compacted earth that real scientists experience.

With only a few bones remaining to uncover, he is one happy dino-lover.

- five -

Tomorrow, I'll be 17 weeks along with this pregnancy.

Things have been going fairly well, aside from a little scare a while back when the doppler was unable to pick up the baby's heartbeat.  An ultrasound relieved those concerns, and also confirmed that there is just one baby on his or her way this time.  It made me a little sad at first, because having twins has been such a sweet and amazing experience, but over the past few days I've come to think that the idea of having just one little baby to snuggle and savor sounds quite heavenly.  Just one!  I don't know if I even remember what that's like!

The nausea thankfully has been starting to ease up gradually over the past few days.  Now the biggest issue I'm facing daily is the chronic fatigue and horrible sciatica that likes to sneak up on me.  There is nothing quite so disconcerting as having your legs suddenly give out right under you.  The back pain I can deal with.  But when it starts limiting my mobility, it gets pretty interesting around here. 

The things we go through for our little ones!

While it is certainly difficult, I am honestly thankful for the lessons I've learned along the journey.

(Just usually after the fact.)

 • • • 

And those are my five things for Friday!

Have a wonderful weekend, all!