Darkness to Light

When your childhood and youth are spent living a somewhat charmed existence, often the darker and uglier side of life isn’t even on your radar.

Things like

ABUSE

and

MOLESTATION

and

RAPE.

These ugly words were absolutely foreign to me.  I had no comprehension of what they even meant as I grew up in a loving home environment.

When you discover that these horrors were actually the reality for a loved one during those same tender years, however, your entire world changes in the blink of an eye. 

Their pain suddenly becomes your pain.

Their betrayal quickly becomes your betrayal.

Your reality becomes filled with

OUTRAGE

and

SORROW

and unequivocal

FURY.

Your faith in an all-powerful, all-loving Father in Heaven is questioned.  Resentment toward those who neglected to protect the innocence of a young child festers.  You begin to close ranks as trust in your fellow man utterly dissipates with the wind.  

Not too many years ago this became my reality.   

How do you move on when confronted head on by an unspeakable crime?

How do you help your loved one work through the unimaginable pain and betrayal that only a victim can truly understand?

How do you find faith or peace when you find yourself in such a dark place?

As with most things in life, the answer is always

LOVE.

For us specifically, it was to cry out as Bartimaeus, the blind man along the road from Jericho:

'Jesus, thou son of David, have mercy on me.'

And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, 'Thou son of David, have mercy on me.'   (Mark 10:47-48, emphasis added)

For us, the only option was to let go of the anger and grab hold to the yoke of Christ.
To listen to and trust in the still small voice.
To cling to one another in His boundless grace.

I'm fairly certain that to do anything less would have torn us apart.

No matter our circumstance or position in life, trials and tragedy will come knocking sooner or later.  No one is immune from sorrow and suffering.

But this I have learned for sure:
We are not alone in our anguish.

I recall a priesthood blessing I received during one of the more difficult moments in my life, and vividly remember the words directed by the promptings of the Holy Ghost which stated that our Father in Heaven is pained to see us in pain.  That He grieves to see us in the midst of grief.  I know that is true.

I also know that if we will turn away from the darkness which so often surrounds us, that His light can lift us to greater heights.  We can emerge from tragedy stronger and with greater empathy and understanding.  It does not please God to see his children abused and made to suffer.  But if we let Him, He can turn even the darkest nights into a beautiful sunrise.  His grace is sufficient for all.

There is peace to be found in the words of our Savior:

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.  In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.  (John 16:33)

When the storms of life catch us off guard, and we find ourselves crying out as did the apostles of old, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?" -- if we can just hold on to the smallest shred of faith and trust in Him whose children we are, He can bring peace to our souls.

And through that peace, we are forever changed.

• • •

If you or someone you love suffers from the horrors of sexual abuse, I highly recommend reading this discourse given by Sister Chieko Okazaki at BYU in 2002.

My love and prayers go with you.

This post is part of a Wordfull Wednesday link-up hosted by Chocolate on my Cranium.

Have you ever had an event in your life occur that challenged you to adjust to your circumstance?

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