Thank Heaven for Little Boys

It has been a week from...
well...
you know.

I'm feeling a bit like a hamster running on an exercise wheel. I'm trying with all my might to get somewhere, but still feel like I'm simply spinning my wheels. I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I'm frustrated.

Particularly since I've sworn off sweets for the next 6 weeks. I really think all of this stress and discouragement could be resolved with a large bowl of Breyer's chocolate. *sigh*

It was one month ago yesterday that we lost our dear friend to cancer.
I think that's why I've been feeling so heavy hearted. My thoughts have been with Ryan & Noah.

But spontaneously this afternoon Taylor walked into my bedroom and proceeded to give me a big bear hug.

"Mom?" He asked, "Do you know why I just love you so much?"

"Why, Taylor?"

"Because you're my best friend!" He grinned ear to ear.

Ahhhh.
Is there anything quite as fulfilling as that?
Sunlight breaks through the stormy sky outside my window.

Maybe the ice cream can stay in the freezer for another day.

Valor

Yesterday I took Taylor to the doctor for his four-year-old check up. He passed with flying colors, but had to endure a finger prick test to check iron levels in his blood, as well as four vaccinations. There were quite a few tears shed, and as we were getting ready to leave, Taylor looked over at me and said, "Mom? Let's get out of here!"

As we drove away from the doctor's office I exclaimed, "Taylor, you were such a brave boy! I am so proud of you!"

From the back seat came a most dejected reply.
"Mom, I wasn't brave. I was so scared!"

"Oh, honey!" I responded, "It's okay to be scared! Just because you are scared, it doesn't mean you aren't brave! Being brave means that you keep going even when you are afraid. You were very brave today!"

And then I stopped to ponder that idea myself.

Honestly, this past month has really beaten me up pretty good. I have been down, I have been overwhelmed... but mostly? I've just felt weak, shaken, and afraid. Brave would not be the adjective of the month, that's for certain.

But maybe I'm just as hard on myself as Taylor was.
I love this quote from Mark Twain, "Courage is resistance to fear... not the absence of fear."

Adversity comes to us all, and times of trial and heartache can leave us feeling frightened and discouraged.

But we persevere.
We continue on.
We reach within ourselves and lean on our friends, family, and Savior.

And we are still here.

Maybe we're braver than we think.

Goin' Green... and Brown... and Orange

I have been meaning to get a little bit better with bringing my own shopping bags to the market with me-- you know... just doin' my part to save the planet. :) So far I have been a big fat failure at that. And although I'm very good at recycling my lovely plastic grocery bags, I'd really like to have some nice, sturdy reusable bags.

For awhile now, I've been coveting these amazing graphic lines from Envirosax, but honestly now-- I just can't justify spending that much on grocery bags. To help soften the blow, I decided to try my hand at making some-- that way I could still have the all of the awesomeness factor with funky colors and none of the ouch factor to the pocketbook.

Using this pattern from Lion Brand Yarn's website (they have loads of wonderful free knit & crochet patterns-- check them out!) I made the tote you see in the picture. It is really sturdy and capable of holding a ton of stuff! Unfortunately, this one is not remaining in my custody-- I decided to give it to my fabulous sister-in-law Angel for her (much-belated) birthday present. The earth-toned colors are très Angel. :)

Upping the eco-chic factor is this great yarn made by Caron that is actually partially made with polyester created from recycled plastic-- I used it for the brown stripes & handle.

The only thing that I changed from the original pattern was to create the stripes. Mine are 6 rnds thick, but I think narrower stripes could be really fun too. I may just try that next time. I limited the strap to only one color.

The pattern was very easy to follow, and would be a great beginner project.
Now I just need to find the time to make a bunch for myself...

Memorable Day

Things to Cherish Today:

1. A very, very, very excited birthday boy eagerly anticipating his birthday party. He is living proof of Newton's first law of motion. He was most definitively an object in motion, and nothing (and I mean nothing) was slowing him down all day!

2. Dinosaurs of all shapes and sizes. Dinosaur figurines, dinosaur books, dinosaur magnets. We are living in our own little dinotopia. (Taylor's version of heaven, I'm sure.)

3. Both sets of beloved grandparents. It is always so striking how different our families are... mine being so outgoing and conversational, Bryson's being quiet and contemplative. And yet, we all seem to like each other okay. :)

4. A chocolate birthday cake. With black (chocolate), blue, and red frosting. And sprinkles. (Taylor was very particular on exactly what he expected for his special day.)

5. Balloons everywhere! On the walls, on the floors... And only two balloon casualties to speak of!

6. A brand new bike! (From grandparents who really shouldn't spoil their eldest grandchild the way they do... but boy do we love them anyway!)

7. Having nearly all of Bryson's and my siblings under the same roof. (Shauna & Nate; Rob & Angel-- you are missed deeply!)

8. Being able to chat with my Grandma on the phone and listen to Taylor actually carry on a sweet little conversation with his Great-Grandma.

9. Sunny skies and a vibrant green landscape thanks to the plentiful rain over the weekend.

10. At the end of the day, being able to kick back and relax with some Hawaiian pizza and creme soda with my very own Superman. How he was able to get through the festivities of the day and still have the energy for a 7 mile canyon run is beyond me. And myself? After today's wonderful chaos I am content to remain an object at rest. And remember Newton's law? Yeah, I intend to stay that way. At least for the night...

Life is just so good.

Never Lost

Lots of thoughts today, but the energy to write is not matching the desire. My thoughts today are with the temple and how very blessed we are. (Thanks for your wonderful lesson today, Shauni. You are amazing!) Until tomorrow, I hope you enjoy the poignant words of Elder Gary E. Stevenson of the Seventy. Happy Sunday, everyone.

I remember a warm, sunny afternoon when spring was trying to nudge its way through a long winter in Cache Valley, Utah. My father, whose Saturdays were always filled with chores for his grandsons, stopped by our home with an offer to “go for a ride.” Always happy to ride in Grandpa’s truck, our four- and six-year-old sons scurried into the back jump seat, and I joined my father in the front. Our drive took us through the streets of downtown Logan, which wrap around the Logan Temple, prominently situated on a hill, centered beautifully in the city. As we moved further away from the city, we turned from paved, busy streets to seldom-used dirt roads, where we crossed old bridges and weaved through trees far into the country. We were far from any other traffic and all alone.

Realizing his grandsons were in a place they had not been before, my father stopped the truck. “Do you think we are lost?” he asked the wide-eyed boys as they gazed out the windshield across the valley. Followed by a moment of silent assessment came the profound reply of a young child. “Look,” he said, pointing his finger, “Grandpa, you are never lost when you can see the temple.” Our eyes turned, focusing with his, seeing the sun glistening off the spires of the Logan Temple, far across the valley.

You are never lost when you can see the temple. The temple will provide direction for you and your family in a world filled with chaos. It is an eternal guidepost which will help you from getting lost in the “mist of darkness.”¹ It is the house of the Lord.² It is a place where covenants are made and eternal ordinances are performed.

There exists a righteous unity between the temple and the home. Understanding the eternal nature of the temple will draw you to your family; understanding the eternal nature of the family will draw you to the temple. President Howard W. Hunter stated, “In the ordinances of the temple, the foundations of the eternal family are sealed in place.”¹¹

President Boyd K. Packer stated, “The ultimate purpose of all we teach is to unite parents and children in faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, that they are happy at home, sealed in an eternal marriage, linked to their generations, and assured of exaltation in the presence of our Heavenly Father.”¹⁴

I testify to you that the application of these principles will help turn the doors of your home to the temple, or house of the Lord, and more fully allow you to make your sacred home a house of the Lord.

-- Elder Gary E. Stevenson, "Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples" Apr. 2009 Conference Address

Sous la pluie

Tell me honestly...

Is there anything as lovely as the scent
of a freshly fallen rain?

the scent of earth mingled with sky--
green and blue
and bliss.

I wish I could capture its fragrance,
revel in the bouquet

preserve it,
and save it for

(ahem)

a rainy day.

Days & Years

The day the world has been watching and waiting for has finally arrived.

(At least that's what Taylor believes...)

Today my little man turned four years old.

It doesn't quite seem possible. I can remember so clearly that first little cry and all the subsequent firsts that have filled each and every blessed day I have spent with my little boy.

So I found it pretty amusing when Taylor sneaked up on me while I was cleaning the bathtub this afternoon.

"Hey Mom, guess what? I'm four days old today!!!"

Four days old...
It sure seems that way sometimes, buddy.

Happy Birthday, Taylor. I just love you so much.